And Then I'll Be Done

Just a few more thoughts on motherhood and then I'll be done.

I wanted to expound a little on the idea that working vs. stay at home mothers is a polarizing topic. One reason I think it is a polarizing subject is that some of us assume the extremes. As my witty, stay at home friend states, stay at home moms are not "simpletons who prefer Barney to the Wall Street Journal," (thanks for the quote, Elissa). They also do not spend the majority of their day watching TLC or The Food Network. And we can assume that most Christian stay at home moms are not using their time at home to further their social status by filling up their calendars.

Now for working moms. We shouldn't believe the extremes about them either. Not all working mothers are working to support their shopping habits. Nor are they putting their children's best interests aside in order to climb the corporate latter thus satisfying their own selfish aspirations. Or if that working mom would just cut back here, or do this there, they would be able to stay at home thus doing what is "best" for their family. No, we should believe the best in one another.

One of my favorite quotes on motherhood comes from Leo Tolstoy. "The salvation of the world is in the hands of mothers." Taken literally this is all wrong. The salvation of the world was in the hands of God who then sent his son to die on the cross, taking on our sins, paying the price for our sins, rising again on the third day, thus bridging the gap between a holy God and imperfect man (nice digression). But since we are not taking the quote literally, I believe Tolstoy is making the point that the spiritual education of our children is really in the hands of mothers (and fathers for that matter). As our current pastor reminds us at every baby dedication, how we as mothers and fathers love our children will mold and shape their view of their heavenly Father thus influencing how they will approach Him. Now, all mothers are accountable for this great task of teaching our children about God but stay at home moms have a unique opportunity to teach them everyday, in all the small daily happenings. What an amazing opportunity. There is not a more important job than this. I truly believe that.

Someday before Ana Sophia starts school, I pray that I will have the opportunity to stay home with her. But until then, I am not resentful or unsettled about this season in our lives. To be so would be to ignore all the blessings and provisions God has given us now (see Working Mothers post below). In the meantime, when I am tempted to worry about what I'm missing or how Sophia may be affected by my absence, I will follow through with what a past minister of ours called God's Prescription for Worry. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)." This prescription can be written for any trial, temptation, or worry. Trust me, I've used it many times!

Thanks for your grace in allowing me to sort out my thoughts on this subject. Most sane people would do it privately but maybe by being honest and open some new mother in my situation will realize they are not alone.

Side note on painting: Mary Cassatt, Breakfast in Bed, 1897, oil on canvas, Huntington Library and Art Collection. A print of this painting hangs in Sophia's nursery. I bought the print in 1998 when my mom and I visited The Art Institute of Chicago. This painting was there temporarily during a Mary Cassatt exhibit. When I saw the painting I knew immediately that I wanted a print to hang in my nursery someday. I think it is a very realistic portrait of mothers. Exhausted but in love with her child, with her protective arms wrapped around the toddler's waist. And, of course, I appreciate the coffee cup on the nightstand!