Waiting and Worry

{Waiting for Luisa}

 

Pride cometh before a fall.  But I will risk it, strap on my crash helmet and boast that I am getting better at waiting.

Actually it's not me at all.  Only the work of the Holy Spirit could change an impatient girl like me into one that has survived, maybe even thrived during these last six months of waiting.

Like eggs and bacon, waiting and worry are a go to combination in my life.  It's like the song I sing to the kiddos:  "Be patient.  Be patient.  Don't be in such a hurry.  When you get impatient you always start to WORRY."  When it comes to waiting, I seem to worry.  So God saw it fit to put me through several tests of waiting in the last six months....

Never, never, never believe subsequent babies will arrive earlier than your first.  Maybe they do for some but this certainly wasn't the case with Luisa.  Convincing myself that she would be early resulted in not so patient waiting.  But she arrived right on time, His time.

Then there was the whole "waiting for the house to sell" gig.  We put it on the market the last week of August.  Then waited for over 7 weeks for a buyer to emerge from several showings.  I cleaned. I picked up knick knacks.  My pregnant belly and I disappeared with two kids for hours during showings.  Nothing.  God had the perfect renters in mind. 

Speaking of housing.  How about waiting until the hour before you are supposed to be at the airport to find a new home?  We flew to Florida at the end of November with 6 week old baby Luisa.  Our mission?  To find a house in exactly 24 hours.  The first 12 hours were spent touring apartments.  Each one left an unsettled feeling in our hearts.  By the end of the day we were somewhere beyond exhausted, me in a puddle of tears on our hotel bed.  Wait, wait, wait.  Tony encouraged, "Let's look a few more places tomorrow afternoon before we fly out."  The next morning we were scheduled to attend a brunch with a few people from Tony's fellowship program.  We arrived with circles as deep as the Grand Canyon, baby Luisa in tow.  A sweet surprise was in store for us.  The chairman's wife took her place beside us at the table.  Upon hearing our lack of success in finding housing, she called a friend whose house was on the market.  The friend was willing to rent to the right family.  We met the homeowners an hour before we were scheduled to arrive at the airport.  A shake of the hand and God provided a house.  In a family friendly neighborhood.  With parks on every corner.  Within walking distance of the river and a school that just happened to have mid-year openings for Sophia and Vincent.  With artsy breakfast spots and delicious ice cream stores.  With wonderful neighbors with kiddos to play with.  With a fantastic backyard and two large oak trees.  My tear-stained waiting wasn't pretty that weekend but God was ever faithful.

{Playing at one of many great parks near our new house.}

{Yummy ice cream store nearby}

 

{GREAT neighbors.}

 

{So glad to walk next door and play with our friends...}



{First day at their new school.  Don't worry.  Sophia got happy and both she and Vincent LOVE their new school.}

 



May I share with you a few things I've learned while waiting? I share them with a humble heart; with honesty that, truly, patience is not a virtue of mine. Yet these are disciplines that helped me in the waiting. Maybe they will help you too?

Stay busy - I found this especially key while waiting for Luisa to arrive.  The days I stayed on the couch were the days I struggled most emotionally.  Ever amazed by the 9+ month pregnant lady re-arranging the furniture and planting flowers in the backyard?  She is trying to stay sane.  Go on excursions.  Make lists and work at checking them off in small chunks.  Like a really good soup, the key is "small chunks."

{We stayed busy with home improvement projects as we waited for Luisa's arrival.}

 



{Waiting for a great deal on a van paid off.}

Pray for the Small Things - When waiting, the small details cause the greatest angst.  Pray about the seemingly insignificant things and in doing so let them go.  God knows every, infinitesimal worry in your brain.  Why not give them to Him in prayer?  As I prayed I claimed Him as my Abba Father, ready to provide.

Call on Others - Ask them to pray for you.  Accept help.  Accept meals.  Ask your best friend, your family, your husband to help you with small tasks around the house.  My dear friend helped me pack boxes.  My mother did innumerable loads of laundry.  I let go of some control in my home.  As a result, I felt less stressed.

Are you Really in Control? - There were few things I was actually in control over during this move.  House selling.  Baby's arrival.  Place to live.  School openings.  Renters.  When I found myself getting worked up I asked myself this question:  "Is there anything I can do about this?"  If yes, then I did it - cleaned, researched schools, packed a box.  If the answer was no (i.e. no offer on the house, no signs of impending labor) then I would lay my obsessive thinking and fretting aside and pray.  Just quick little prayers.

Be Quiet - This might not be true for everyone else, but for me, talking about things sometimes makes it worse.  Especially if my talk is fretful talk about those details over which I have no control (see above).  It's natural to take our problems to physical, walking around with legs and arms people rather than to a God we cannot see.  Yet, when I disciplined myself to be quiet or to pray, I was less worked up (see scripture #1 below).

Memorize Scripture - I laugh as I type this.  I'm just plain lazy about scripture memorization.  Recently a friend gifted me with these scripture memorization cards.  Because they are so pretty, I have them displayed in a prominent place in my home.  Naturally and with little effort, I have memorized several verses.  I now "get" scripture memorization. If God's Word is hidden in your heart, He will be faithful to bring the perfect one to mind when you need it most.  Here are 3 of my favorite "waiting" scriptures:

".....Quietness and trust is your strength....." Isaiah 30:15

 

"...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ..." 2 Corinthians 10:5

 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

 

 God is not interested in my happiness but rather my holiness.  He took me to an uncomfortable place last August when we decided to move to Florida all together with a 10 week old baby.  In taking me there He has worked on my impatience, my desire to be in control.  I have a long way to go but blessedly, He is not through with me yet (Philippians 1:6). 

Instagramming Pregnancy

21 Weeks

23 Weeks

 

27 Weeks

30 Weeks

33 Weeks

36 Weeks

 

38 1/2 weeks

 

Belly pictures - to do or not to do - that is the question!  A question I answered with a definitive "no" with my other two babies.  Belly pictures were a tad immodest for this body conscious girl.  Not one to take pictures of myself when not pregnant, I couldn't imagine why I should while steadily gaining 30 pounds over 9 months. 

 

But, as you can see my opinion has changed.  Pregnancy is truly a miraculous thing and the growing midsection something to be celebrated, not hidden.  I didn't take a picture every week but opted to take one on the day of each of my doctor's appointments. 

 

If you look past baby girl's growth you can deduce when we put the house on the market by a marked increase in the cleanliness of our bedroom.  I'm glad I took "belly pictures" this time around.  Only one and half more weeks to go until our due date on October 21st.  I am ready to meet this little girl!  Each day seems to drag with the waiting but I am trusting God's timing.

Year 3 in Gatlinburg



I'm still playing catch-up here on the ol'blog.  This post is dedicated to our 3rd family trip to Gatlinburg, TN back in early May.  We invited Jean Jean to join us this year and we all had a great time. 

 

One advantage of being behind on updates is the joy of going back and looking through pictures months later.  It makes you feel like you are there again.  The Smokies are rather magical for our family.  We drive into the dense green foliage and by the next morning our worries and stresses are gone.  We talk little of significant things but rather sit quiet or play loud.  Tony and I were Freshmen at Baylor University when we first traveled to the Smokes for his family's family reunion.  Just skinny teenagers at the time, we had no idea that ten years later we would travel back with our own two children.  I hope and pray that The Smokies will always be a retreat for our little family....

 

 

Ready for The Smokies!

  

{Vincent is all smiles and excitement as we buckle him in for the long trip.}

 

{As is tradition, we stopped in Chattanooga to visit their amazing aquarium.  We left Birmingham right after Sophia's ballet class.  She's still sporting her ballet bun.}

 



{Checking out the rays}

{The sting ray touch tank area of the aquarium has beautiful, diverse foliage.  Orchids are in my top 5 favorite flowers and these were extraordinarily beautiful.  I've earned a huge "F" in growing them at home.  Any suggestions?}

{Butterfly exhibit}

 {We arrived in time to witness and participate in the release of the newly hatched butterflies.}

 

{Mesmerized}

{We had a picnic dinner on the lawn outside the aquarium before climbing back into the car.  We found a little alcove on the waterfront to shelter us from the chilly wind.  A cold front blew in and the next few days would prove to be uncomfortably cool.}

 

We're Here!  We're Here!

 

{We braved frigid temperatures to check out Cades Cove on our first day of vacation.  Getting to Cades Cove from our cabin in Gatlinburg took awhile but was well worth it.  Cades Cove is rich in history with old cabins and beautiful meadows.  We had packed a few inexpensive kites for the trip and I thought it would be rather romantic to let the kiddos fly a kite in one of the meadows.  We fought barbed wire fences, intense winds, and cheaply constructed plastic kites to experience only a few moments of flight.  All of Tony's surgical skills and knot tying expertise were used to hold the kite together.  I'm not going to brag but after about an hour in the meadow it was the pregnant momma who was able to catch some air and distance with the kite.  Later in the day we spotted a mama bear and her two cubs in a different meadow.}

 

 

 We are Going to Catch a Fish!  Gosh Darn It!  We are Going to Catch a Fish!

{Subsequent days were spent traveling to different fishing spots around Gatlinburg and The National Park in an effort to catch one, single fish.  Licenses were purchased for every member of the family.  Local experts were consulted.  Bait was bought - from expensive lures to bread and hot dog wieners.  Maps were studied.  Prayers were even offered.  And, not. A. Single. Fish. was caught.  Tony rose before dawn each day to fish on his own then returned to the cabin to rally the troops for more fishing.  Through it all, he remained patient.  The kiddos enjoyed the process and didn't seem too bothered by our lack of success.  Better luck next year.....}

{These pictures were taken in The Smoky Mountain National Park on a flat trail we discovered last year.  It's flat enough to take a stroller and runs alongside a river. The sound of water is constant and loud.  There are great opportunities for exploration and reflection.}

{Vincent spent a good half hour to an hour beating this large log.  Workerman!}

 {Beautiful Sophia and Beautiful Jean Jean}

 

{More fishing}

{The National Park was the highlight of the trip this year.  The kiddos spent hours exploring, throwing rocks into the river, and trying to catch fish.  In this picture they are watching some critter.}

 



{I had just completed the first trimester and my energy was returning slowly but surely!}

{Moments after this picture was taken we would arrive at our car parked at the trail head and discover that a window was broken out and several of our possessions, including my mother's purse, had been stolen.  Our favorite day of vacation could have been ruined.  BUT, miraculously the thieves were captured and all of our belongings were returned before we left the park for the day.  Both kiddos were quite shaken and we used the moment to teach them about people's "bad choices,", consequences, and forgiveness.  When we talked about consequences, Vincent said that the mean men needed to go to time out.  Yes.  A big time out called "prison."  God definitely redeemed this situation.}

 

Cabin Fun

{It rained the entire day on our last day of vacation.  We spent most of the day indoors enjoying the view of the Smokies, the covered porch, and the local wildlife....}

 



{Knitting and coloring}

 



 

{Tony and I had a little mini-date to check out the local artists' scene.  While we were gone Jean Jean and the kiddos were able to watch this cute raccoon from inside the cabin.}

 



{Knitting with a view}

 

Theme Parks - Oh the Fun!  Oh the Exhaustion!

 

{The weather cleared on the day we were scheduled to drive home. Since we missed Dollywood the prior day due to rain we decided to drive home late and enjoy the park during the day.}

 

 

{Watching shows}

 

{Miss Lillian's chicken cafe.  She's a hoot!  Remember last year when Sophia joined her show?}

{Just look at all that fried goodness with a side of biscuits and pudding!}

{The authentic coal fired steam engine train is our favorite part of the park.}

 

 

 {The rocking rhythm of the train always puts at least one baby asleep.}

 

{Vincent slept while Sophia enjoyed the water fountains.}

 

 {Glass blowing demonstration}
 

{Choosing their souvenirs before heading home.}

Back Home in Time for Her Recital

 



{The morning after we returned from our trip Sophia was scheduled to perform in her ballet recital.  I was nervous as to how she would do after our busy week away.  I'm happy to report that she did fantastic!}

 



{Sophia with her "hummingbird" friends.}

{After the recital Jean Jean gave her a beautiful pink hummingbird that she purchased in the Dollywood glass blowing shop.  What a great way to commemorate Sophia's performance as a pink hummingbird in her very first recital!}

 

 

I'm looking forward to our next trip to the beautiful Smokies.  I know that with each passing year the kiddos will remember more and more about our special time together as a family.