Working Mothers

Did you read the title of the post? If you did, I'm sure you have an opinion. Nothing seems to polorize a group of women more than this subject. Strong emotions on both sides. And would you expect less? I mean we are talking not only about the welfare of our cherished children but also our efficacy as a mother. Well, after returning to work at the end of Sophia's 3rd month of life, I joined the ranks of working mothers struggling to meet the obligations of work and home.

Recently I visited the Focus on the Family website to find some encouragement on juggling work with motherhood. I was getting home later than usual that week and was feeling sad about the missed time with Ana Sophia. And before I get too far into this story, let me say that we have the ideal situation. I work 30 hours a week, off 1/2 day Wednesday and all day Friday. On top of that, we have the best nanny out there, Sophia's own flesh and blood, Mama Jean. I never have to worry if she's being held enough, talked to enough, or watched carefully. I can leave detailed instructions on how to screw the bottle lid on correctly (not really) and I know my mom will care. That being said, guilt and motherhood go hand in hand. Pretty amazing that I already learned this lesson in just six months of life.

Well anyway, back to Focus on the Family. I love this organization. They are a fabulous, biblical resource for families in all stages of life. Even after my disappointment in reading the following post, I would recommend them to anyone. Here is a link to a letter written by a working mother and the response from Dr. Bill:
http://listen.family.org/askdrbill/A000000280.cfm

Before you jump on Dr. Bill's bandwagon, let's first consider the lady who wrote the note. My heart breaks for her. She's a Christian looking for encouragement from a trusted, Christian resource and receiving none. Opinions, research, and agendas aside, this is a woman asking for encouragement. I feel that in trying to push an agenda, Dr. Bill missed the opportunity to offer hope and encouragement to this woman (I've done this too, many times). Remember the woman at the well? She used the smokescreen of politics and religious debates to hide her true self. Jesus cut right to the chase and ministered to her hidden needs (John 4:1-42). I think we should be more like Jesus, save the debates over controversial subjects for a more appropriate time, and minister to the personal needs right in front of you.

Dr. Bill is right though, our culture does tear down stay at home moms but the Christian community should be careful not to do the same to working mothers. Are you a working mother because God has given you a passion for your work, are you working out of necessity because of your stage in life and/or desire not to fall into debt, or are you a single mother? I think that the God that raised Jesus from the dead has victories for you too. Victory to be excellent at work while still being excellent at home. Victory in maintaining patience and love as you change a screaming baby's dirty diaper, then feed her, bath her, dress her, and rock her to sleep all after a nine hour work day and interrupted sleep the night before. You know what I've learned? God can give the patience, stamina, and love to complete these tasks. And what is even more amazing, He can give you joy too. So typical of God who "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)."

Yesterday I found a great interview at www.thehighcalling.org ( a great resource with articles, interviews, etc. on how God cares about our work). Here it is: https://www.thehighcalling.org/Library/ViewLibrary.asp?LibraryID=4357

I love Nancy Lovell's perspective on working mothers and fathers. Great ideas on how to be creative in managing your household so that family is the priority above work. I really like what she says under the subtitle, "A lot gets said in God's name."

I feel that it's just the nature of the beast that working mothers will have a more difficult time prioritizing family first. But it can be done. You just have to be creative, committed, and most of all, prayerful. I do not blog as often as I would like. I have a hard time returning phone calls to friends because all my time when I get home goes to Sophia's bed time routine and then catching up with Tony. Tony and I date at the dining room table after 7:00 p.m. (Sophia's bedtime). Spagetti is a good night, frozen pizza the typical.

Here are the blessings in this working mother's situation: Sophia brings daily joy not only to Tony and I's life but also Mama Jean's, Tony and I are working together in a way that we never have before, God is growing patience in me, God is teaching me how to live out Philippians 4:6-7, I have a flexible, Christian boss, and little children who cannot communicate have a brand new mom there to work with them in a unique way. God has answered so many prayers for our little family. Stay at home moms, working moms - each situation comes with it's own challenges. But the beauty is, God sees you (Genesis 16:13) and will minister to you right where you are.

I'm scared to ask, but what do you think?